Friday, July 23, 2010

Larry Walker's Rear

Card backs. The most overlooked and underrated aspect of a baseball card. A well-designed and thought out back can make or break a card. And while some people chose to ignore it, others embrace it (see Owl, Night). I fall under the latter category.

Mark of Stats on the Back was giving away cards, literally. He sent me a huge stack of Larry Walkers, and its some good stuff. I’ve always liked Larry Walker; he was an incredible athlete. He could hit for a high average, blast 30+ homers, steal 15+ bases, and give you great defense in the outfield. He should get some consideration for the Hall of Fame… but the chances of him making it are as slim as Kate Moss. You never know, the writers have screwed up before. Instead of boring you with the front of the card, why not keep with the theme of card backs? Let’s check out the rear of the card and read the unintentionally hilarious blurbs.


1993 Triple Play #42
Some interesting information I can pile away and save for a rainy day. I’m chop-full of useless trivia for celebrities. Did you know Coolio is an avid snow globe collector?

1997 Topps #461
“During a team slump, he offered cash rewards to them… ranging from $20 for every hit and $200 for complete games.” If I were a pitcher on that squad, I sure as hell would give it my all every night.

Let’s take a break and examine two card fronts, shall we?

1994 Pinnacle #310
1994 Score #376 I’m convinced these two pictures were literally taken the same play. The ‘94 Pinnacle has Larry tracking the ball and the ‘94 Score has him waiting under it. Look at the similarities. Both cards are from the same year and from the same company. Larry has the same angle, not to mention the same sunglasses and same wristband. And do you see the light blue mark on the wall? And I thought Topps was lazy.

1992 Studio #59
Studio is always known to include interesting (a.k.a. useless) tidbits about players. So reading that Larry’s favorite movie was Ghost and that he would most like to meet Mariah Carey kinda confused me. This is a burly Canadian for God sakes… he should never be near a Patrick Swayze film or a Mariah Carey album. Oh, dear Larry.

1993 Studio #123
“Might have been a lumberjack if he hadn’t been an athlete.” Okay, I still laugh when I read this. I can’t picture Larry Walker as a lumberjack, despite having the build and look for it. Try picturing it, it’s harder than it looks. Does anyone else think Larry’s face creeping in is sort of disturbing?

1997 Topps #221Check the list. Besides Piazza, how many of those players have been linked to steroids? And those are some ridiculous numbers.

A big thanks to Mark once again for the generous pile of Larrys. You can never have too much Larry Walker, even if his favorite movie is Ghost. (By the way, if the title of this post attracted you to read, you are a sick man.)

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